Kitto vs. May

Team Kitto:

No write up this week….disgusted with the officiating. Two touchdowns were denied….one on an inadvertent whistle and the other John Kitto was tackled just before the goal line.

Team May:

The game was a defensive struggle early as team May was stopped on 4th down twice but immediately followed each with INTs to get the ball back. We finished the half with a questionable call resulting in a TD on the last play by Blake Taylor. 

Second half was more of the same. Minimal offense before Taylor caught a bomb to get us inside the 10 and a few plays later he scored again. 

Overall, our defense (and several incredibly bad calls) was the deciding factor. An INT from Jmart and 2 from Taylor helped to hold Team Kitto scoreless as well as relentless pass rush from Zack West who finished with 3 sacks. 

On to next week vs Pogue.

Heine vs. Allen

Team Heine:

Nothing

Team Allen:

Team Allen opened with a sharp drive, capped by Ryan Allen’s out-route touchdown. Pevey liked it so much he called it again for a two-point conversion. Team Heine answered with a long, grinding drive to score but missed the extra point. Team Allen, aiming to control the pace, scored quickly instead, CT pitched to Taylor Calandro for a touchdown run. Another Allen out route for the extra point was erased by a questionable “QB in motion” call after some ref-bullying. But football karma responded by the next play, when Jason Harvey’s pick-six off Joel Davis gave Team Allen the two score halftime lead.

The second half slowed down. Team Heine scored after a plodding drive. Team Allen responded with a plodding drive of their own, Pevey getting the ball to everyone including Box and Cory Eues earning first downs, CT finishing with a touchdown. Team Allen’s defense sealed the 26-13 win.

Highlight: Harvey’s pick-six. Lowlight: The ref’s made-up rule. Team Allen rolls on; Team Heine’s left to regroup.

Reed vs. Davenport

Team Reed:

Lost by coin flip by the executive football committee decision (nobody on the field knew the overtime rules including the two commissioners playing in the game). Team Davenport wins. Better Arcement has the same state line as Will.

Team Davenport:

Team Parlay Powerhouse came into this week looking to extend their heater and keep the dream of a perfect season alive (curse be damned). Rested after a bye week, the Team Davenport  looked to score on the first possession, taking shots down field to Ki$h and Arcemoney, with Arcemoney finally scampering to pay dirt but were unable to convert the extra point.

After being unable to stop the short pass game of Team Reed, the TD again took shots at the endzone. Then it was quarterback, Patty Dice, who scored. He scrambled under pressure before running it in from short. Not wanting to be known as a ‘running quarterback’, Towles then scrambled back almost 50 yards before throwing the ball to Big Bill Will for the two point conversion. 

Up at the half, Davenport attempted to rally the team to a defensive stop. It was a bust. Unable to score on their next possession and with time running down, TD needed a defensive hold. An interception by Towels with 6 plays remaining in the game set them up for a last second victory. On the two yard line, a three man rush pressured Towles to a quick throw on the last play of the game, which was incomplete. 

At this point everyone assumed the game was over, including the refs and both the commish and his asst commish (Nelson & Carter, respectively). It wouldn’t be until the next day that the MSC realized there was actually an overtime procedure, and it wasn’t followed. The pit boss notified his underlings of their grave mistake, but decided to give both teams a free bonus play. A coin flip will decide whether to give Team Reed the first W of the season or let the incredible run of Team Davenport inch closer to BRAAS lore. Well, scared money don’t make money and the High Rollers were given house money. Having already done more with less, Team Davenport absolutely dominated the coin toss. 3-0.

#AgainstAllOdds

Aillet vs. Levert

Team Aillet:

A stylistic clash in game plans and a verbal clash on the field led to an intense game between Team Aillet and Team Levert. Did the two teams argue? Sure, but only one time. I mean, it lasted the whole game, but still. 

TL started with the ball and Scott Alexander’s trusty quintuple-option offense and methodically worked their way down the field before Scott decided to get TA’s lone rookie involved in the game, tossing Chris Nicolich a nice high interception in the endzone that he returned approximately four yards, setting up 1st and 16 for TA QB Matt Walker. Nicolich made up for the return a few plays later on a perfectly executed deep ball from The Good Walker for his first catch and TD of the season that had Reggie’s son asking Matt “you play WB in high school?”

On their second possession, TL got things going a little more quickly, tossing an interception to Aillet just a handful of plays into the drive. Aillet took the interception all the way down to the one-yard line, setting up the chance to burn more clock before he drew up a play to grab a TD of his own. The first half ended shortly after with a 14-0 lead for TA and possession coming out of the break. 

TA went right back at it in the second half, working the ball down the field and chewing up the clock. Matt “I’m Not Running Tonight” Walker did his best Josh Allen impression, scrambling for as long as he could before finally deciding it was reckless not to run, breaking off a 40+ yard dash that ended just shy of the endzone (Team Levert really did a great job helping us burn a couple extra minutes of clock on their 1-yard-line flag pulls). A couple of dangerous throws later, Matt decided to break out the wheels again, taking off for a 1-yard TD run on 3rd down.

TL took possession down 20 and with most of the half gone. They managed to put together a scoring drive, hitting the ageless Lane Pitre for a pretty wide-open touchdown. Sadly, it was too little, too late, as Team Aillet worked so much clock that Team Levert gave up before the game even got to 7 plays, robbing The Good Walker of his chance to get over 40 fantasy points on the night.

Team Aillet MVP honors for the week go to Matt Walker (2 passing TDs, 1 rushing TD, 1 reluctant 40-yard-dash) and rookie Chris Nicolich (1 receiving TD, 1 Interception, 1 sack, 1 re-tweaked hamstring). Apologies to Aillet (1 Int, 1 TD) – the softball write-ups might be over but you’re still not getting any awards.

Team Levert

Pogue vs. Navarre

Team Pogue:

Team Pogue and Team Navarre were featured in the Capstone match up of the evening. Team Navarre arrived missing its namesake; however, they used the bat phone to summon Flag Football God as a substitute. This was an interesting strategy as they arrived with a full line up of 7 players and no apparent need for a substitute. Enter Kevin “Phantom Injury” Coogan to save the day. Phantom Injury graciously bowed out of playing the game citing his ailing knee. We were not sure where he misplaced his crutches or why he walked without a limp, but we accepted Flag Football God without complaint.

Team Pogue deferred to the second half and Team Navarre took over on offense. Their offense was led by Jason “Good Hair” Leaphart, Thomas Bickham, Austin “Snap, Crackle & Pop” Bouzigard and the substitute, Flag Football God. Team Pogue’s understanding on the substitution matter immediately bit them in the ass as Good Hair hit Flag Football God for a monster gain. Team Navarre found the endzone shortly thereafter and jumped out to a 7-0 lead.

All State Pratt was ready to rock and drove the team down the field. He executed an efficient drive, completing passes to Game Plan, Adult Beverage, Miguel “The Restauranteur” Sanchez and Parker “Mad Dog” Marschall. The drive was capped with a scramble that would have made Johnny Manziel smile. All State Pratt ran circles in the backfield for approximately 45 seconds before finding Adult Beverage for the tuddy. Adult Beverage ran to the concession stand buying two Bud Lites and smashing them together Stone Cold Steve Austin style to celebrate his TD and fire up the team. The extra point attempt failed despite the inspiration.

Good Hair took back over and did what he does best. Throwing passes on time to a variety of his compatriots. The most notable play of the half involved Austin “Cryin’” Fontenot as he decided it would be a good idea to smash into Derek “The Immovable Object” Hood which led to the tackling of the Flag Football God. Cryin’ Fontenot earned his nickname after the play as he lobbied for Hood to be flagged despite the Immovable Object not initiating or noticing the contact. Everyone will be surprised to know that the referees were disinterested in what happened on the field. Cryin Fontenot was 0-1 on his complaints for the evening. Team Navarre scored despite the minor setback and took a 13-6 lead into halftime.

We began the second half by making moderate gains when All State Pratt decided to let Mad Dog off his leash. All State Pratt called a flood pattern with a back side post. Mad Dog slipped behind the defense and caught the post in stride to put the team in the red zone. On the next play, All State Pratt broke into a mad dash for the endzone but was obstructed by Cryin’ Fontenot. Pratt entered a high stakes game of chicken, but Fontenot blinked first. Fontenot created a path to the endzone for Pratt as his last full contact experience went poorly. We again failed to convert the extra point but were back in the game.

Team Navarre looked to extend the lead when it pulled a play out of their dastardly bag of tricks. Good Hair threw the ball to Dom Valenti, who shot putted the ball to Bickham. The ball then magically made it into the hands of Snap, Crackle & Pop who began hauling ass up field. Several missed flag pulls later Snap, Crackle & Pop found the endzone. Fuck them and fuck us for letting that bullshit happen.

Team Pogue needed to get their shit together as there were approximately 5 minutes left in the game and we were down by 8. Pratt completed a dig route to Maximum Effort to get the drive off to a good start. It was on the next play that All State called a wheel route to Captain Pogue. It was a genius play call as I am not sure I have ever been that wide open in my life. All State Pratt let the ball fly but Flag Football God was moving like a bat out of hell to break up the pass. With the ball in the air, I had two thoughts….one, I better catch this fucking thing and two, brace for impact. I jumped, snagged the ball and prayed for Flag Football God to be merciful. Fortunately, he was feeling benevolent, and I landed without incident. Team Pogue was in scoring position and feeling good about their chances to tie the game. We got inside the 10 when All State Pratt dialed up the option. He lateraled to ball to Captain Pogue for six. Cryin’ Fontenot made his second appeal to the refs as he testified that Captain Pogue had stepped out of bounds. The call stood as he had absolutely no evidence to support his nonsensical claims. Cryin’ Fotenot was 0-2 on the evening. Team Pogue elected to go for 2 to tie the game. All State Pratt found Maximum Effort in the back the endzone; however, the pass was slightly long, and Maximum Effort was unable to come down inbounds.

Team Leaphart took over and ran out the clock handing Team Pogue a devastating loss.

Team Navarre:

Team Navarre came into the matchup shorthanded, missing three key players (Boo-Boo, Hoang, Hurst), with Coogan on the sidelines giving his knee one more week of rest. Even with the depleted roster, Navarre’s offense was flawless, marching down the field and scoring on every single possession under the steady command of their leader, Leaphart.

Team Pogue, however, offered little resistance. Pratt did his best to keep things competitive, carving through the thin Navarre defense and scoring on every possession as well. But in the end, history repeated itself: Pogue moved to 2–17 as a football captain over the last 3 years,  while Navarre looks ahead to a healthier lineup in Week 3 against Allen. Final Score: 20-18 Navarre

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