Davenpot vs. Heine

Team Davenport

Instant BRAAS Classic. The match up between Team Heine and Team Davenport was action packed from start to finish. TH started with the ball and methodically worked the ball down the field and capped off the drive with a TD while managing to eat up over half of the clock. TD’s first drive got going with a quick pass to Arcemoney and he managed to break loose down the field. TD starts to celebrate the touchdown as Will is running all alone out in front, but Houma Christian’s finest (Rookie Josh Crowdus) pulled off the impossible. He somehow managed to catch the cheetah with a diving flag pull at the 5 yd line. Don’t sleep on Class B 2008, they had some athletes! Patty Ice delivered a laser to slanting Davenport. The ball really wasn’t caught but more so stuck into the gut of Davenport for the TD. TH next drive was much more efficient than the first and they put 6 on the board fairly quickly, but failed to convert the PAT. TD’s 2nd drive stalled out and they turned in over on downs deep in their own territory. TH looking to get another quick TD and go up 2 scores at half, throws a quick pass. The ball goes through the hands of TH receiver and Rookie Joesph Easley (The Glove) makes a miraculously athletic play to secure the ball in his hands before hitting the turf for an INT. Less than 50 seconds to go in the half, Patty Ice draws up a play for TD. Patty Ice, scrambling for his life, throws the ball and yells at Davenport, who is still attempting to set up his route, to look back. Davenport turns his head just in time to see the ball sitting right in his lap. Davenport has been studying the running form of Arcement. Davenport decided this would be the perfect time to test what he’s learned. Davenport scampers down the field, leaving TH defenders in his dust and dumbfounded on how he was able to move that fast. 

Half time TD 14 – TH  13

TD gets the ball to start the second half. Mr Kentucky was ready to burn up some clock and work the ball down the field to extend the lead. Davenport had other plans. Mr Kentucky throws a quick 4 yd out route to Davenport on the sideline. Davenport turns his head and sees Cole Garrett bracing for impact, but Davenport plants his foot and puts Garrett in the spin cycle. Davenport turns up field and decides to pull out another trick learned from Arcement. A quick jab and cut leaves Heine checking his ankles in the secondary, 3rd tuddy for Davenport. TD decides to go for 2 to make it a 9 pt game. Patty Ice throws a perfect pass into traffic and the ball was tipped and bobbled in the air twice by Davenport before a diving effort to secure it for a successful conversion. 

TH was not deterred. They managed to put together another efficient drive that ended in 6 for TH, but another failed conversion thanks to a pass break up by The Glove. Up 3, with the ball, TD decides this time they are going to run some clock. But a fumbled snap on 4th and inches on their own 19 yd line really pushed the momentum to TH. TH determined to get the ball past The Glove takes another shot his way. The Glove was able to get both hands on the ball but was unable to bring in the interception. TH learned their lesson and decided to pick on Davenport on the other side of the field. TH scored with less than a minute left to take a 3 point lead. Great clock management by team Davenport allowed them to have 40 seconds left on the clock. First play, Flag football God batted the pass down at the line of scrimmage. With the clock rolling, TD scrambled back to the line to run another play before time expired. Short gain as time expired. 7 plays. 

TD struggled to break loose for big yds during 7 plays. They took a shot down the sideline on the second play which ended up in the hands of Houma Christian’s finest, but he came down with it out of bounds. They found themselves with another 4th and inches on play 5. Patty Ice huddled up the team and said, “Screw it, we’re taking a shot”. The High Rollers broke the huddle and lined up. TH defenders were pressing up towards the line to stop the short gain. The ball is snapped and Arcemoney tears down the sideline, still salty from being caught earlier. He manages to get behind Cole Garrett and Patty Ice delivers a perfectly thrown bomb that Arcemoney was able to sprint under and haul in for the touchdown. TH had two plays left to try and make something happen. Menke was heard screaming for the ball down the sideline on the 6th play and Cole Garrett lets it loose. Davenport was waiting and stepped in front of the pass and took it back for 6. Heartbreak for Team Heine. 34-25 Final. 

Team Heine

Team Heine opened with Joel Davis at quarterback, who boldly decided that variety was overrated and ran the same play three times in a row. On attempt number three, his hamstring gave out like a clearance lawn chair at a tailgate. Enter backup QB Cole Garrett, who looked suspiciously like he’d been waiting all week for Joel to collapse. Garrett immediately engineered a touchdown drive, finding Austin Heine in the endzone.

Team Davenport answered back with a score of their own, but Garrett wasn’t done—he hit Josh Crowdus for another TD and nailed the extra point, putting Heine up 13–7. Just when the half looked wrapped up, Nelson Davenport pulled off a miracle catch-and-run that saw more broken tackles than a Thanksgiving turkey carving. Davenport jogged into halftime with a 14–13 lead.

Second half started with Team Davenport sputtering out on downs. Garrett made them pay with a quick strike to Heine, who apparently remembered he was allowed to catch touchdowns, putting Team Heine back on top 19–14. Davenport responded again, proving that defense is strictly optional in this league.

With time winding down, Garrett hit Alex “PeeWee” Shields in the endzone to retake the lead 25–22. Towels took the lead back with an absolute 4th-down dime to Davenport’s speedster with 2 plays remaining in the game.

Garrett went full desperation mode and threw an interception that was returned for a garbage-time touchdown as both teams walked off the field. 

Final score: Davenport wins, and the real loser was Joel Davis’ hamstring. 

May vs. Pogue

Team May 

Team May opened the game with a bomb from Hebert to 45 which likely would have resulted in an easy TD if not for Team Pogue rusher Wreck it Ralph who slapped Hebert’s wrist as he threw the ball. Hebert still managed to get the ball about 30 yards down the field and 45 came back to make the catch. Unfortunately, Team May was unable to continue the momentum and turned it over on downs. 

Pogue rallied the troops and marched down to the red zone on a long completion to Mockler where 45 managed to move toward the line of scrimmage and guard no one. Thankfully Nic Morel was able to come down with a tipped ball on the 2 yard line to end the drive. 

After several completions and a long run from Hebert, TM was back near the endzone and on the final play of the half Hebert found Zack West for a TD to go up 7-0 at half. 

The second half was a lot of the same. After a turn over on downs, Hebert found West again to go up 14-0. TM controlled the clock the remainder of the game and continued their smothering defense to close out their second straight shut out.

Team Pogue

To begin, I would like to address the slanderous charges levied against Captain Pogue in the most recent edition of the Ancient Times. Clearly, The Ancient Times has been taken over by fake news operatives as evidenced by the fact their Editor in Chief excelled in girls’ sports at a commuter college. Captain Pogue’s record of 4 – 116 is significantly better than advertised especially when considering 3 of those wins came despite the overwhelmingly positive attitude of Trent “Team Killing Cancer” Davis. I digress.

Team Pogue suffers from the loss of rookie receiver Andrew Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald is another in the long line of fragile athletes nominated by Chuck “The Iron Fist” Smith to join our beloved club. I have heard but cannot confirm that The Iron Fist will lose his ability to nominate new members should Fitzgerald not recover soon (no pressure Andrew). Additionally, we were further hindered by the absence of our fearless leader, All State. All State “had to work”; however, some speculate that he was worried he would be found guilty by association for crimes against football.

This week pitted the undermanned Team Pogue against Team May. Team May is led by Brett “Mastermind” May and Kyle “One-Man Wolfpack” Hebert with color commentary provided by JMart. Team May won the toss and elected to receive. They started the game out with a bang as One-Man Wolf Pack completed a 65-yard pass to Mastermind. This was an inauspicious start for Team Pogue. The good news is that Game Plan unleashed a stellar red zone defense scheme which baffled the opposing team. Rarely, are Mastermind and One-Man Wolfpack outwitted by the competition; however, Game Plan was in rare form. The legions of Team Pogue fans went wild as Maximum Effort hunted down One-Man Wolfpack for a drive ending sack. The goal line stand led Big Mo to take up residence on the Team Pogue sideline and we took over on offense with a rare feeling….hope.

They say that hope springs eternally from the human breast and hope took flight on the third play from scrimmage. Captain Pogue scrambled to the left and found Adult Beverage open in the middle of the field. They connected for a 40-yard gain and Team May was left in disbelief. Team May’s misfortune continued when Captain Pogue broke out of the pocket and lateraled the ball to the Immovable Object. He rumbled down the 10-yard line gaining a first down and putting us into scoring position. On the next play, Big Mo abandoned team Pogue faster than Benedict Arnold abandoned the United States of America during the Revolutionary War. Captain Pogue called a flood pass to the right and found an open receiver; however, the ball slipped through the receiver’s hands. Things went from bad to worse when Nic Morel dove like a kamikaze and intercepted the ball before crashing into the turf.

I could summarize the rest of the game, but I will say that Hope crashed and died on impact along with our chances of securing our first W. I’m sure the Ancient Times will put a bounty on Captain Pogue’s head next week to try to put his reign of terror to an end.

Allen vs. Navarre

Team Allen

The same defensive success that carried Team Allen through the prior two weeks was shredded this week, with Navarre’s Leaphart slicing through like a hot knife through butter.

The game kicked off with a gut punch: Booboo hauled in a crossing route for a touchdown on the very first play, setting the tone. Brad Pevey, answered with a gritty, drawn-out drive, punching it in himself and tossing a conversion to Cory Eues to keep things close. But Navarre strolled back down the field, scoring again and leaving Pevey with just enough time to realize he didn’t have enough time. Halftime score: Navarre 13, Allen 7.

The second half didn’t bring any miracles for Team Allen. Pevey’s opening drive fizzled, ending with Booboo snagging a pick in the end zone. Leaphart, apparently unimpressed by Allen’s defense, carved them up once more for a quick score. Down and desperate, Pevey dusted off the ol’ hook-and-lateral, a play that had flopped in practice before game four times. Miraculously, on second down, Taylor Calandro’s pitch to Ryan Allen worked like a charm, resulting in a fast TD. But the defense? Still nowhere to be found. Team Navarre sealed the deal, walking away with the W.

Team Navarre

On the very first play of the game, quarterback Leaphart hit Boo on a slant over the middle — and Boo did the rest, taking it the length of the field for an electric touchdown that immediately set the tone. From that point on, Navarre never relinquished control, rolling to a convincing 26–12 win over Team Allen.

Leaphart was locked in from the start, finishing with three passing touchdowns in a poised and efficient performance. Boozie emerged as a reliable target, reeling in two touchdowns of his own, while Boo followed up his opening score with a clutch interception on defense — showcasing playmaking ability on both sides of the ball.

Team Allen found the end zone twice, but struggled to keep pace with Navarre’s explosive offense and aggressive defense. Whenever Allen started to build momentum, Team Navarre came up with a big stop or a game-breaking play.

Final Score:

Team Navarre 26 – Team Allen 12

Kitto vs. Aillet

Team Kitto

The matchup between Team Aillet and Team Kitto kicked off with a strong opening drive by Team Aillet, who quickly found the end zone to take an early lead. Team Kitto responded with a promising drive of their own, marching methodically into the red zone before disaster struck — a costly interception returned for a touchdown gave Aillet a commanding two-score lead.

As the first half wound down, Kitto attempted to claw back but ran out of time before they could manufacture a scoring drive. Team Aillet intercepted B. Kitto as first half time expired. 

In the second half, Team Kitto put together a  time consuming drive capped off by a rushing touchdown from B. Kitto. The lengthy possession chewed up too much clock, leaving little room for a comeback.

Team Aillet answered with another touchdown to go up 20–7. With only a handful of plays left, Team Kitto was unable to mount a final rally before time expired.

The injury report for Team Kitto is a mile long, and a bye week never sounded better.

Team Aillet

The story of this game was that Team Aillet scored more touchdowns and had more interceptions than they had offensive drives. It might not be a bad game plan to keep The Good Walker off the field for as long as possible, but TK turned ~ 30 minutes of possession into a single touchdown.

Team Aillet started with a fairly long drive of their own, capped off on a Matt Walker TD pass to the team captain himself. Then Team Kitto got the ball back and proceeded to dink and dunk their way all the way down the field before throwing an interception in the endzone to Aillet, who added injury to QB Kitto’s insult by breaking his ankle on the way to an 81-yard pick-six and a 13-0 lead. Kitto got the ball back with less than a minute on the clock, scrambling for a first down before ending the half with an interception to Jimmy Sandbridge.

TK was back on their “5 yards at a time and huddle for the entire play clock” offensive game plan to start the second half, burning TWELVE minutes of game clock before Captain Kitto executed a QB dive on like their fifth attempt from the 1-yard line. TA returned the favor by using up all of the remaining time and the first of the final seven plays to take a two-touchdown lead, leaving TK that faint sliver of hope that they still had a chance before intercepting Kitto one final time.

Final TA stats for the game: two offensive possessions, three touchdowns, three picks, and a sack from noted C-League volleyball legend Joe Pursiful. Team MVP for the week goes to our fearless leader, who provided 67% of the touchdowns AND the interceptions (even though he dropped his easiest pick of the night). Honorable mentions to The Good Walker (typical flawless QB play) and Jimmy Sandbridge (the other 33% of the TDs and INTs). Now to use the upcoming bye week to rest up for a showdown between two of the three most expensive QBs in BRAAS.

Levert vs. Reed

Team Levert

Team Levert pulls out a much-needed win as QB Alexander overcame his previous games’ color blindness and a knee injury to throw for 3TDs and no INTs. The Team Levert defense stepped up on the first drive with a 4th down interception by Nate Black.  The Offense then did a great job of using all of the first half clock to score before half.  Both teams traded scores in the 2nd half, setting up for an instant classic finish. Team Carter then decided to score, then not score, then chose to score, then not score, but ended up scoring, taking a 15-14 lead. QB Alexander then did his best Bryon Leftwich impersonation, limping and leading Team Levert down the field with great catches by Chris McKee, Levert, and others, scoring with 1 play left.  Team Carter’s Hail Mary attempt had a real chance but hit the turf in the end zone and Team Levert wins 21-15. 

Team Reed

Team Reed found themselves in a similar situation as they lost the coin toss to start the game and Team Levert decided to defer. At least we were there for this one.

Team Levert QB Scott Alexander was dropping Dimes all over the Team Reed defense throughout the game. Team Reed, utilizing their Nickel package, played a soft zone as not to be beat by the speed of Nate Black. Team Reed drove down the field throughout the game, but couldn’t quite find the end zone enough. Team Reed QB Bart Crader Flipped a TD pass to Alex Anderson, who ran around the field a few times, but somehow only burned 2 seconds. Team Levert scored with 1 play left in 7 plays to take the lead. Crader threw a Hail Mary about 95 yards to force Overtime, but the ball found the turf, leaving Team Reed at the altar chasing that ever elusive victory. Over a Quarter of a way through the season, Team Reed looks to find their first win after the bye week.

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