Week 7

Reed vs Aillet

Team Reed

No write-up after a big win.

Team Aillet

The tale of a season isn’t defined by a single win or loss, but rather the lessons we learn along the way. And this week we learned that if you let a former D1 QB have 15 seconds to throw against a bunch of old dudes, he’s probably going to rack up a sick completion percentage. Oh and that if he has 4th and 5 and you rush him with one guy, he’s probably going to beat that guy to the sideline, then the first down line.

The game got off to a wild start. After failing to connect on the first couple of tosses, The Good Walker threw a deep post pattern to Aillet for a touchdown on the third or fourth play of the game. Not to be outdone, Bart threw a 65-yard touchdown on their very first play of the drive to Carter “I’ve Got Twice as Many Wins as Pogue” Reed (nickname given after the game). Team Aillet then marched the ball back up the field pretty quickly, scoring on a Tyler Pecue catch and run and converting again to take a 14-7 lead, but leaving a lot of clock for a team that scored in 10 seconds on their first drive. 

This time TR and Crader marched slowly up the field, converting a back-breaking fourth-down run when it looked sure that Ted Adams had him down for a sack. The drive continued, and ended with a 15-second scramble and a “5-yard” touchdown pass that travelled approximately 75 yards in the air from one sideline to the other and a wide open Reed as time expired. 14 all at half.

Learning from the first 20, Team Reed took a slow and steady approach to their first (and only) drive of the second half, converting on yet another 4th down scramble to keep the chains moving. Then, after throwing three jump balls to Chase Fresina and Patrick Arecement in the endzone from the five-yard line, Bart realized he could throw it in bounds and tossed a soft one into Desselle the Younger for the go-ahead score. Team Aillet stopped them from converting on the extra point, and had 6 minutes + 7 plays to score and convert the XP to sneak out a hard-fought win.

TA drove the ball successfully down the field, burning clock to prevent yet another quick strike, but ultimately fell just short after a gadget play lost a few yards on third down/play four, and then speedy Landon Carr finally got home for the game-sealing sack on 4th down. Devastating loss, but proud to work together with Team Navarre to put Pogue back in last place by himself. Team MVP honors go to The Good Walker and Aillet, who handled about 90% of the offensive load tonight. Possible playoff preview next week as the 4th seeded Aillet takes on 5th seed Heine.

Navarre vs Kitto

Team Navarre

Boo-boo is broken 

Team Kitto

Team Kitto are on a three day bender still celebrating and didn’t have time to submit a write-up.

Heine vs May

Team Heine

Nothing fom Team Heine

Team May

We started down 6-0 pretty quick but were able to answer after Hebert marched  down the field with quick passes to West, KB, and Jmart. Finally finding Blake Taylor in the endzone for the game tying TD. 6-6. 

After a defensive stop, Hebert once again got us into scoring position and this time called his own number for a TD run to go up 12-6. 

***Trigger warning*** In the waning minutes of the half Cole Garrett marched TH down the field, but on the last play of the half was intercepted by Blake Taylor. What took place after this was quite possibly the most unbelievably bad call in what we all know is a circus of bad calls every week. Taylor retuned the INT about half way back and once he was cut off by several TH members he slowed up, set his feet and threw an absolute dime all the way across the field, AND SEVERAL YARDS BEHIND HIM, to connect in stride with 45 who sprinted the last 30 yards for a TD as the clock expired. 

BUT WAIT. In a shocking turn of events Reggie waves off the play saying the lateral, that was clearly legal to every other person on the field (TH admitted as much) and to the thousands in attendance, was illegal. How he could possibly make that call from 30 yards behind the play I will NEVER understand and I really hope he doesn’t decide to make one of these insanely boneheaded “look at me” calls in the playoffs.  /rant

After half we traded scores, ours went to Nic Morel, to maintain our lead and in the final possession while running out the clock Hebert optioned to May who slipped past the defender and up the sidelines to ice the game with a final TD. 

May 25

Heine 12

Allen vs Levert

Team Allen

Team Allen decided this week to channel their inner ground-and-pound, cracking open the playbook only to scribble “RUN THE BALL”. And run they did, with QB/RB Brad treating the field like his personal treadmill. The opening drive QB/RB Brad marched the team down the field, capping it with a touchdown scamper.

Answering, Roll-Tide aired it out on the next drive, hitting Levert on a crisp slant that turned into a house call. But QB/RB Brad wasn’t done. He leads another drive that was 95% run, 5% pass. Capped with RB CT breaking free for a touchdown sprint.

Team Levert came out swinging in the second, punching in a quick touchdown to tighten the screws. But QB/RB Brad, unfazed and possibly fueled by an extra protein shake, orchestrated yet another run-heavy drive, bulldozing his way to the go-ahead score and converting his third rushing two-point or one-point attempt of the night.

With the game on the line, White-Shorts and Team Levert pushed to the goal line but crumbled under the pressure, turning it over on downs. Team Allen walks away with the W, proving that sometimes the best playbook is the one that says, “Run the Damn Ball.”

Team Levert

Nothing from Team Levert

Pogue vs Davenport

Team Pogue 

In a classic David versus Goliath tale, Team Pogue enters the week facing off with Team Davenport. Nelson “Guard-A-Flag” Davenport launched a high stakes experiment on draft night. His strategy was to use all his draft capital on two players and fill in the rest of his roster with players from the Dollar General. The consensus was Guard-A-Flag and his team were destined to be cellar dwellers because the Mighty Arcemont and Patrick “Big Blue” Towles could not beat everyone by themselves. For reasons that I cannot fathom, this has proven to be incorrect.

Team Pogue deferred to start the game, and we had one objective….make someone besides the Mighty Arcemont beat us. Oddly enough, this was the only goal we accomplished for the game. Big Blue drove his team down the field completing passes to Arcemont and Guard-A-Flag. They capped the drive with a touchdown to the under rated, Kishan Shah. Kish gets slightly less respect than Rodney Dangerfield and was left wide open in the back of the endzone.

We took over on offense, and All State Pratt quickly reminded everyone that he has more BRAAS championship game appearances than a certain quarterback from Kentucky. All State Pratt scrambled for yards and spread the ball around to Captain Pogue, Adult Beverage, Beav and Andrew Foster. There was some excitement when Guard-A-Flag swore that The Immovable Object “hip checked” him and expressed his displeasure with the “missed call” by Rod. Rod has spent many years watching his father ignore complaints and did an excellent job following Reggie’s footsteps. We scored when Captain Pogue caught a pass from All State Pratt. The score was tied, and we were in excellent shape

Team Davenport took over on offense with about 2 minutes remaining. They struggled to find momentum as they made minimal progress. Big Blue fired a seem to Guard-A-Flag but Beav knocked the pass away to force third and long. It was on third and long that Davenport earned his nickname. He hauled in the reception and took off down the sideline while holding his flag to his side. This caused Captain Pogue to do his best impersonation of Scott “Rules Expert” Alexander by screaming “that’s fucking flag guarding” over and over. Rod did look up from his phone; however, he was not interested in the game, nor was he interested in throwing a flag. They scored shortly thereafter, and Kish caught another touchdown pass because no one bothered guarding him again.

We went to half down 13-6 but were ready to get the ball back and march down the field to even the score. Unfortunately, our second half closely resembled the maiden voyage of the Hindenburg. For those who are unaware, the Hindenburg was the world’s largest blimp and used hydrogen gas to become airborne. Hydrogen gas is highly flammable and of course, the gas caught fire, exploded and killed everyone aboard.

Fortunately, the game ended on an entertaining note. Captain Pogue entered into aggressive negotiations with Guard-A-Flag. We needed a time out and the benevolent Davenport agreed to sell us one for a bucket of Michelob Ultra (courtesy of Mockler Beverage Group). The negotiations included a completed pass provision to ensure that neither of us wasted valuable resources. The play worked with Pratt completing a long pass to Foster. Guard-A-Flag honored his word calling a time out and allowing us a final shot at the endzone. We padded our stats when All State scrambled into the endzone. Team Pogue falls 26-14.

Team Davenport

The least anticipated game of the 2025 season was shockingly eventful. The results were as anticipated, but the game had lots to offer: bad calls, no calls, blood, bribery, etc.

TD starts with the ball. Kenny Carr snaps the ball only to look up and immediately is trucked and laid out by Wreck It Ralph. Wreck It Ralph trying to set the tone earlier by punishing the oldest guy of Team Rookie. Kenny pulls himself up, bloody lip and all, but realizes that both refs were still staring at MNF on their phones and no flags were thrown. Here we are thinking it’s going to be a fun, leisurely game, but no. This is war. TD with its wake up call gets down to business. We glide down the field with ease and the drive ends up with TD from Patty Ice to Ki$h. PAT no good. Team Desperation takes the ball to begin their first drive. All State takes the first snap and tries to run, but a leaping flag pull by Davenport keeps it to a 1 yd gain. Next play, Allstate throws a duck over the middle of the field and Patty Ice drops the INT. A dropped pass on third down sets up a 4th a short. All state tries to use he’s legs again but Arcemoney meets him 3 yds behind the line of scrimmage. It looked like a cheetah chasing a snail, but Allstate must have super glued his flags in. He manages to escape the jaws of Arcemoney and scramble for a big gain and first down. All state continues the drive toward TDs territory. TD manages to get them to 3rd and medium, All state uses his legs again to scramble. Davenport had the angle and was going to get him in the back field until the Immoveable Object hip -checked Davenport to the ground to allow All state to run right by him. No flags, shocker. After some constructive criticism, Rod started asking everybody what size shirts they wanted to help ref. We politely asked him to just tell his boy to put his phone away and actually try to look like he’s doing what he ‘s being paid to be there for.  Team Desperate’s drive ended with a TD and their PAT was no good. Tie game 6-6, 2:14 left in the half. The High Rollers take over again and immediately try to take a couple shots down the field, but were unsuccessful. Patty Ice scrambles for a big gain and first down with time dwindling down. Patty Ice connects with Davenport over the middle and Davenport broke a few tackles, scampers up down the sideline making defenders miss. Davenport is met at the 5 yd line and he pulls off a textbook spin move with “stroke arm” form and runs into the endzone with both flags still attached. Team Desperate is pleading their case their case with Rod and somehow convince him to throw a flag for flag guarding to erase the TD. No worries, next play Patty Ice connects with Ki$h again for the TD, TD goes for two and Arcemoney is able to get both hands on the throw, but is assaulted and tackled by Team Desperate’s cornerback. I asked Rod where’s the penalty and his reply was, “Was he going to catch it?”. Idk maybe, but note to self: As long as your man is unable to catch a pass, full contact is allowed. Try is no good. 

Half time 12-6

Team Desperate was, somehow, able to pick they wanted ball and the direction they wanted to go in the second half, but that’s BRAAS Football…being the MSC has its perks. All state starts the second half with a dropped pass. Second play, Davenport is able to get in the back field for a huge loss. Next play Pratt (dropping the All State) throws it away to avoid another sack. 4th play, Prat throws the ball 5 yds in front of his receiver for a turnover on downs. The High Rollers struggle for a few plays in the red zone with a couple dropped passes, but they manage to punch in another TD with a Patty Ice to El Capitan connection. They go for two and The Glove is able to convert. We asked rod how much time has remaining and we were shocked to hear him say 10 mins….dude forgot to start the clock somewhere. Team Desperate and Pratt need to right the ship quickly. Davenport is living rent free in Pratt’s head after the sack. His first down throw sails 30 yds into the sideline. He tries to take a shot on the second throw, but this one is only 10 yds into the sideline. Pratt tries to go after The Glove on third down. I guess they haven’t been reading our weekly write-ups. The Glove tips the ball in the air and pulls down the INT. Patty Ice huddles the team and asks Davenport, “Do we run clock or pour it on?” Davenport, defending Kenny’s honor, immediately demands to pour it on. The drive ended quickly with a TD scramble by Patty Ice. PAT no good. 26-6. Team Desperate’s captain realizing the game is out of reach goes into wheeling ‘n dealing mode.  They draw up a hook and ladder on the first play. Pogue catches the ball turns and pitches it forward 5 yds. We look to Rod who just shrugs his shoulders, there are no rules. Having used their last time out, Pogue asked if he could use one of ours. We said that if you buy us a bucket of beer after the game, we’ll call a time out for you. Pogue said that if they completed the next pass, it was a deal. Well what do you think we let happen? After a long completion from All District Pratt, Pogue looks the El Captain in desperation. El captain realizing that calling a time out would:

  1. Allow him to walk down the field to new line of scrimmage.
  2. Get a bucket of beers for the boys

No brainer, he quickly yells to Rod for the timeout. All District finds pay dirt the next play with the help of an egregious hold. You guessed it, no flag. Pogue must have offer Rod a bucket, too.  Team Greedy elects to go for two and converts while the High Rollers are chatting about what type of beer Pogue is going to buy them. 

If we learned anything from this game, it’s that Pogue will trade buckets of beers for TDs & TOs. 

26-14 your final. 

 

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