Week 8 

Davenport vs Levert

Scott “rules expert” Alexander left them high and dry. Scott strategically misses the game so he can proclaim that he’s never been beaten by Mr. Kentucky. Levert and company made a valiant effort but at the end of the day, it was a chaotic mess. Team Levert was able to manage 3 first downs the entire game. They threw 4 INTs and it could have been 8, thanks to the pressure of Carr and Davenport.

Patrick Towles added 4 TDs and 3 INTs to his already immaculate Rookie Campaign. He should get the nod for POW for the second straight week and third time this season, but haters are going to hate! He spread the TDs around to Ki$h (x2), Arcemoney, & Kenny “I’m always open” Carr. Team Davenport had a pick six to end the first half that made the Harlem Globetrotters look like ball hogs. Davenport walks into to the endzone after the fifth lateral. 

High Rollers roll on. 35-0

Next week match up is vs the red hot Kitto brothers, in the middle of their first winning streak of the season and looking like a totally different team. 

Team Levert

Team Levert was unable to cover the 28.5 point spread and fell to Team Davenport 35-0.  Some onlookers were asking if the Captain has lost his team, will he ever submit a write-up again, can this team rally and go on a playoff run, or is all hope lost?   

*checks schedule, Pogue up next* 

May vs Navarre

Team May 

45 is still sore and tired from all the sprinting that took place following his INTs so this will be less detailed than normal. 

Team Booboo got the ball first and a few plays in tipped a pass into the air that was picked and returned to the house by 45. 

Team Booboo then drove down and scored. 

Then Zack West arrived. 

TM’s next drive ended with West TD #1.

Team Bb answered again 13-13.

TM had about a minute left and rapidly carved through team Bb’s swiss cheese defense to get close enough for Hebert heave one up to the Big Man Josh Robinson who pulled in the hail mary to take it to half with us up 20-13. 

TM got the ball to start the half and the next drive resulted in West TD #2. 

Team Bb answered again. 27-20. 

TM’s next drive took maybe 2 plays before West danced around and broke at long one for West TD #3 on the day. 33-20. 

In the waning moments, Leaphart tried to throw a deep comeback to Booboo but 45 stepped in front and took the INT up the sidelines for what appeared to be his second pick 6 of the day. Leaphart however had other plans and gave the most effort he’d given the entire game to cut off 45 at about the 5 yard line. Pitch to Zack West for West TD#4 on the night. 39-20. GAME OVER. 

West also had a sack which gives him sole possession of the single season record! Congrats Zack!

Team Navarre

3 Touchdon game and doesn’t do a write up

Aillet vs Heine

Team Aillet

We’re bound to  play at least one game with our whole team healthy……right?

Team Heine

Nothing

Kitto vs Allen

Team Kitto 

Watching the season burn? Team Kitto has taken these ill-spoken words to heart, claiming back-to-back wins. Was the season on fire, or were they just heating up?

Team Allen came out firing with an opening 8-point salvo, but Team Kitto responded with a drive ending in a pass to Marcus Lasseigne and a pitch to John Kitto for the touchdown, though they failed the 2-point conversion.

Starting the second half, Team Kitto finished another drive with a Craig “44” Ourso catch and pitch to John Kitto for six more. After a defensive stop led by Neal Grob and Joe V, Ben kitto quickly found John Kitto again in the end zone on a pass intended for Lasseigne.   

Another defensive stand set up Matt Williams for a long catch-and-run that nearly iced the game. However, with the previous times write-up ringing in their ears, Captain Kitto and former President Ourso added a fourth touchdown to polish off the decisive victory.

Team Allen

Reed vs Pogue

Team Reed 

Team Reed, behind the empty promise of Bundt cakes for a Win from Rusty Secrist, showed up looking for what apparently is referred to as a “winning streak” against Team Pogue. After deferring the coin flip, Team Reeds defense came up tough and stopped Team Pogue on 4th down. After getting inside the 10 on a few plays, including a clutch 4th down catch from the better Arcement, another dark horse entered the backup QB battle for Team Reed, as Tyler Desselle tossed his 1st TD pass and now holds the BRAAS record for Attempt:TD ratio and QBR. Team Reed added the extra point on another diving grab by Lucas Hahn. Team Pogue wasn’t going down without a fight, but after driving the length of the field, the stingy pressure of the 3-Headed Rush of Lucas Hahn, Chase Fresina, and last weeks hero Landon Carr forced Pratt into an interception by Bart Crader. Team Reed started to move the ball, but as Crader rolled right and fired a bullet to Rusty, he must’ve seen a White Chocolate Rasberry Bundt cake and by the time he came to, the ball had bounced off into the waiting arms of the rookie Fournet, who nearly returned it for a TD. Pratt found Beav quickly after, tying the game at 7-7. The half ended this way, as Team Reed couldn’t quite find the end zone to end the half.

Team Reed started with the ball to start the 2nd half, and drove their way down the field behind catches from Chase Fresina and Rusty Secrist capped off by a TD rush from Bart Crader. On the extra point, Crader found Desselle on a pass fit through a window that I’m still not quite sure how it was possible. Team Pogue once again drove down, highlighted by a 50 yard catch and run by Pogue, who traveled nearly 247 yards on the play and eluded flag pulls from each member of Team Reed, and a few members twice. On 2nd and goal, Pratt looked right, and having dreams of last year, fired a dime to one of his “teammates”, who hauled it in and ran for 10 yards after the catch. The issue was the “teammate” was Carter Reed, his WR4ish from last years runner-up, who set Team Reed up for back to back victories for the 1st time this year. Team Reed ran out the remaining time, and found the end zone on another rushing TD by Crader with 2 plays left to give Team Reed a 20-7 victory. Props to Stefan Pitre and Alex Anderson (and his assistant coaches) for showing up and doing their part, providing inspiring words and quick refreshments. Team Reed looks forward to getting back to full strength and hoping to continue this whole winning streak thing against Team Heine next week in the regular season finale.

Team Pogue

It’s a rare occasion when I am at a loss for words, but I will try to overcome. Not to ruin the suspense but we lost again. Here’s another write up brought to you by Murphy’s law. We started on offense but little success before turning the ball over on downs. Team Reed took over and was led onto the field by Bart Crader. Bart is most well-known for winning the genetic lottery and earning the undying affection of Pat “The Bad” Walker. The Bad Walker did not attend his man crushes game and left many to wonder if the bromance hit a rocky patch. The Genetic Lotter Winner seemed unphased by the lack of support from his most faithful follower and displayed the athleticism that led him to star for the McNeese State Cowboys. They put seven points on the board with a double pass for a touchdown. It should be noted that the play was illegal as the rusher took the handoff in front of the quarterback and then threw the ball. This is frowned upon by the NIRSA handbook of rules; however, Rod and his accomplice cannot be bothered to read the rule book.

The good news is that the setback proved to be temporary as All State Pratt connected with Beav for a huge play. Beav caught a ten yard out, made a couple fools miss and hot footed it into the endzone. We converted the extra point to tie the game.

We kicked the ball off and the game turned into an interception fest. Andrew Foghat intercepted the Genetic Lottery Winner and gifted us the ball in scoring position. Our success was short lived as the Genetic Lottery Winner was irritated by the mere mortals on Team Pogue and intercepted a pass of his own. The insanity stopped when Foghat intercepted his second pass of the game, and we headed to halftime.

Team Reed opened the second half with the ball and mounted a sustained drive. The Genetic Lottery utilized his Adonis DNA to gallop around the field and throw laser beams to his teammates. The Restauranteur made several great flag pulls to slow down their progress, but the Genetic Lottery Winner would not be denied and scampered into the endzone for a touchdown.

Team Pogue found themselves neck deep in shit as they trailed by seven points and the clock was working against them. They tried to keep the television audience glued to the tube by making the opening drive as difficult as possible. Their first down play resulted in no yards. Their second play resulted in a loss of 15 yards. Fortunately, they headed in the right direction on third down and managed to gain 10 yards back. We had no choice but to go for the fourth down conversion. All State Pratt completed a pass to Mad Dog Marschall and our drive continued due to the ice water in their veins. The good vibes continued further when Captain Pogue did his best impersonation of Beav and took an out route for a long gain. Unfortunately, Captain Pogue does not possess the athletic ability of the Genetic Lottery Winner and was stopped short of the endzone. Ultimately, our drive fell short on an interception by Carter Reed.

Team Reed clinched the game by running out the clock and five of the final seven plays before icing the game with their final touchdown.

 

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